i cant do this anymore i give up….?
Posted by admin | Under learn how to stop panic attacks Saturday Jan 30, 2010hi i’m a 24 male living in new york. my fiancee left me for her ex-boyfriend a month ago. the same guy she left too be with me. we’ve been living together for 3 years and been together for 5 man this hurts… i cant stop crying im not the crying type but i find myself releasing tears silently on my way too work at work, home everywhere. i know i’m supposed to be over it and she’s not thinking about me why am i thinking about her. i heard everything there is too hear about this situation from friends and family, but… she was my world i wake up with out direction sometimes like learning too walk again. i get panic attacks like ill never experience someone like her again or love in general, i’ve come too the conclusion that women and relationships are not for me… im not gay (no offense) i just don’t want be responsible for abusing my heart anymore " i’ve been cheated on before, she said she never will and i believed her STUPID ME!" i just think now being a coward is the best resolve.
Hey there,
sounds like you are feeling pretty low right now.
Don’t punish yourself because it hurts! You spent a long time together and were quite young when you started out, so she might have been your first love. That’s been a HUGE part of your life.
We can get very comfortable with people who are in our lives for a long while, and it does take time to get used to their absence if they leave.
Sadly whatever she did to her ex she also did to you, so that’s a good tip for your next relationship. If a girl does something low to another guy, imagine her doing it to you and pass her by!
It’s ok to grieve and feel bad. That’s natural. Take some time to recover from this. Get to know yourself again. Eventually you’ll be able to think about your future plans and work towards them. Don’t worry if you’re not ready yet.
I find it helps to have a good cry and pinpoint what it is about the person you miss and that hurts, & that the pain passes more quickly if I face it.
I was like you I trusted the WORDS and the ACTIONS never followed. I was extremely hurt and it took a long time to see the truth. Now I’m a little wiser – Words are not the best way to judge a person. Actions are the best way to know who they are. And now I look at their past to see what is likely to happen with them in the future.
Sounds like deep down you knew she wasn’t ideal, but you carried on and hoped it would work out anyway. You’re not alone in doing that.
One day you will realise you are still special and loved even without a girlfriend. And next time you choose more wisely and you won’t be in this sad place again. For now give yourself a break.
blessu
BrendaJJ
Im with you, cant put up with the crap…
Freelancer is the way to go!
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how is that being a coward?? I dont think ur a coward. Cowards would take shit from a gf or financee, as long as u stand up for urself ur no coward. Who cares if u dont date again I am 19 and I have never kissed a girl before and I am not gay I am just really shy, but that doesn’t make me a coward either cuz I stand up for myself and dont take shit from no one.
the crying thing ya thats kinda gay not saying ur gay just stop the crying and say f&*& that Bitc. I bet you will feel better if you just say Fu*& that Bitc.
If u dont want another gf ever I could understand that in no way makes u gay or a coward, but stop the moping and crying cuz that sh*t makes u a coward and gay so stop that sh*t cuz there is no need for it be a man and move on
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come to armenia and find a gf for you from here. they never betray, never cheat on you and always love you. I meannot always but if u always show your love to them they always answers you with the same.
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I’m 39. I’ve gone through that twice in my life. One was a fiance and once was my wife…
A month…not nearly enough to get over it. It is different for everyone, but probably between 3 months and a year is what it will take. The way you feel is right for you FOR NOW. So, give up and don’t date until you feel differently. In the back of your mind, remember that someday you will feel differently.
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It really does hurt when someone treats us this way, but closing yourself off to loving again is not the answer. Maybe it will make you more careful, that’s often the case. There aren’t many people walking around out there who haven’t had their heart broken in some way. When the right person comes along, the rewards will be worth it. Just make sure that you always have your own life, your own identity, even though you’re with someone else.
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Man i feel your pain ive been cheated on 7 times out of 16 Girlfriends.
First mistake you did is saying that youll never experience love and and youll find anyone like her. Why would you want to find someone like her? Look what she did to you. Shes a bustdown man, take some time to get over it and go back out into the world and find someone better. You can and you will. Any thing other than what I just said is either an excuse that you have fallen in love with so you refuse to go on or yourself not allowing you to find a new love. I found a new love. Was it hard? Hell yeah. But once you find her youll feel like your on top of the world. So invest time with friends and meeting new people. Youll find someone.
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thats not the best solution. she is nerve coz she lefts u, even she know that u love her so much.. maybe in "blessing in disguise", u`ve known her so much of what happen. if u love the perrson, fight for her, not look her in d back… common its not d end of the world.. so many gurls fit for you. u have work, responsible, handsome (i think)… intelligent. if she doesnt really love u, she will not left u like that.. she is not concern w/ u anymore
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Hearts heal the slowest out of anything. It will take some time to get over her, but you will have to come to except the fact that she doesn’t love you and you don’t need her. If she truely cared for you she would have not done this to you. Don’t worry, there IS someone better out there, and you deserve that better person.
see you on the sunny side. :]
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NEVER GIVE UP if she was dumb enough to leave a great guy like you then shes not anything to be crying over you diseve something better than that and EVERYONE had a soul mate she wasnt yours but yours will find you sooner than you think and i wish you the best of luck and in the meantime a little cocolate never hurt anyone always helps me. Never give up on love love hasnt and never will give up on you =]<3
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me and mii <3
Ouch, that sucks – I’m sorry.
I know you’ve probably heard this before, but the only thing that will help is time. A month is not a very long time to get over a five year relationship. It might be a year or more before you’ve really healed. I know that doesn’t help you now, but it’s the truth.
I understand why you feel like you’d prefer to be a "coward" about women and relationships. Actually, that might not be a bad idea, at least for the time being. Don’t shut yourself down to the possibility forever, but for now, take a break from the dating game. After a bad breakup, you’re so emotionally fragile that any relationship you get yourself into now would be a rebound, which never turns out well. Give yourself some time to heal and then reflect on what happened (when it isn’t so raw).
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u should never give up! I believe that in this life we all have the perfect soul mate u just haven’t found her yet but the world is still ahead I’m sure u’ll find her even if ur not looking . ur ex will regret that she broke up with u .and by the way I’m positive that she’ll leave this boyfriend again she seams so insecure and ur better without her.best wishes
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You know what I used to do when someone hurt me and upset me when we broke up? I used to think of all the ugly things he’d do and all the crap he gave me and that made me not cry anymore!
first you’re sad
then you’re mad
then you’re glad -)
just think of all the ugly qualities this woman had and how she’ll break up with someone to be with someone else.. NOT cool I might add! She’s not trustworthy and that’s the worst quality anyone can have.
You’ll move on and find someone else in time.
To add** I was with my ex for 6 whole years and then I come to find out he’s gay!!! Sure, it hurt me but in time you get on with life and you become your own person and enjoy yourself. I know it’s a long time to be with someone like you have but you will move on.
Also, a year and a half later I met a brilliant man whom I trust and has a very good heart. We’ve been together for almost 4 yrs now.
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Hey there,
sounds like you are feeling pretty low right now.
Don’t punish yourself because it hurts! You spent a long time together and were quite young when you started out, so she might have been your first love. That’s been a HUGE part of your life.
We can get very comfortable with people who are in our lives for a long while, and it does take time to get used to their absence if they leave.
Sadly whatever she did to her ex she also did to you, so that’s a good tip for your next relationship. If a girl does something low to another guy, imagine her doing it to you and pass her by!
It’s ok to grieve and feel bad. That’s natural. Take some time to recover from this. Get to know yourself again. Eventually you’ll be able to think about your future plans and work towards them. Don’t worry if you’re not ready yet.
I find it helps to have a good cry and pinpoint what it is about the person you miss and that hurts, & that the pain passes more quickly if I face it.
I was like you I trusted the WORDS and the ACTIONS never followed. I was extremely hurt and it took a long time to see the truth. Now I’m a little wiser – Words are not the best way to judge a person. Actions are the best way to know who they are. And now I look at their past to see what is likely to happen with them in the future.
Sounds like deep down you knew she wasn’t ideal, but you carried on and hoped it would work out anyway. You’re not alone in doing that.
One day you will realise you are still special and loved even without a girlfriend. And next time you choose more wisely and you won’t be in this sad place again. For now give yourself a break.
blessu
BrendaJJ
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